In 2011, I was in the middle of sitting down when I suddenly felt prickling sensations start from my toes, spread up my legs, and make their way into my arms. I was gasping for air. As the sensation traveled up my spine, it overwhelmed my head, and my heart struggled to keep up. Desperate for air and covered in tears, I started praying. I was scared for my life. I didn’t know what was happening, and I thought that perhaps I was experiencing a heart attack or a stroke. I was convinced that I was about to die. Eight minutes later, after more crying and thinking about all the things I still wanted to do in my lifetime… it stopped.

It was my first panic attack.

From 2011-2014, I was constantly worried because I never knew when the next panic attack would strike. During this time, the panic attacks occurred on a monthly basis. It became such a norm that when I started to get the prickling sensation, I would turn on a timer for eight minutes and curl up on the floor, telling myself that I am not dying but experiencing a panic attack and all will be well again within eight minutes. Every time, I would stare at the timer and watch the digits change. I would wish to be normal again.

At the time, I didn’t know anyone who was also dealing with this type of situation. I didn’t know where to turn for help, either.

When I finally realized what was the cause of the panic attacks, it stopped, and it no longer dictated my life.

I still deal with anxiety from time to time, but knowing what my limits are helps substantially. To reduce anxious feelings, I do a once-a-week technology detox and spend (Read more...)