P.S. I Love You: The One (Mayhem)

P.S. I Love You: The One (Mayhem)

The To All The Tools I’ve Loved Before series reaffirmed that there’s true love still out there. How are Your Apps and Mayhem doing you ask?

Find out in this sequel and final installment. Part one (SCA). Part two (SAST). Part three (IAST). Part four (Open Source Fuzzers)

—

Dear Mayhem,

I was so moved by the thoughtful, original poem you wrote me for this year’s Valentine’s day. The zero-day you presented me was already lovely, but, oh, the poem! It was the poem that nearly sent me straight into a buffer overflow! 

L0v3 S0nn3t 

 

I crave your code, your carefully crafted statements, your beautiful logic.

Silent and starving, I prowl through binaries.

SAST does not nourish me, false-positives disrupt me, all day.

I hunt for defects in your nightly build.

 

I pace around hungry, analyzing your code,

hunting for 0-days, for bugs

like a flytrap ready to close.

I was swoon. I thought I would crash right then and there! 

So, you can imagine my disappointment when I found out that it wasn’t you who authored it, but Pablo Neruda. I know stringing together properly formed data isn’t your strong suit, but you have to know that I accept you for the non-functional tester you are! That’s what makes you so powerful. Not everyone may have the ability to see that, but I assure you that I do.

It was a beautiful gesture, but let’s stick to malform data from now on, okay? Plus, I have all these shiny zero-days to look at. Who needs a poem?

Oh, the videographer finally got around to sending over our wedding video. I can’t wait for our vow renewal next year!

Always and forever,

Your Apps

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Are all these references flying over your head? Then, you ought to check out Netflix’s hit teen romcom series: To All The Boys: P.S. I Still Love You.